cranky_pussy

Sorry, I know it's been awhile. They moved the computer out of my room and gave me a piece of exercise equipment to take it's place. WTF, do they think I'm actually going to use that thing? I don't think so!

Anyway, big news since I last posted. I'm getting an early transfer for good behavior! I got a chance to visit my new low security facility, and it's SWEET!! There's a screened porch, soft fabric covered furniture (no plastic!!), wall to wall carpet, drippy faucets, and as much junk food as I want. And my new keeper, what a softie!! She pets me and hugs me and she's even sewing me a big pillow bed all my own. I am so psyched.

Oh, and as for the fire-haired one and the brunette? I'm making sure to leave them with lots and lots of fur all over everything. Especially that hideous piece of exercise equipment!!

So, I guess this is good bye. There's no computer at the new place that I could see. Just think of me and remember, good pussies get what they deserve!

A few days ago the brunette forgot to feed me my nighttime snack. When she came in in the morning she tossed a treat into the carrier and I dove for it. TRICKERY!!! She took me to the vet!! We'd been there already a few days earlier. They'd taken blood from me, it was horrible. I hate them. But now, she was taking me back. She handed me over to the expert torturers and LEFT ME THERE. I have no memory of the unspeakable horrors I have endured. But my paw has been shaved and my mouth hurts. They took one of my teeth, I know.

Now I am home, and oh what a lovely lovely home I have. The carpet is soft, the futon is softer, the lights are glittery, the air is sweet, the food is fantastic! Whoo-hoo, I have never felt so great ever. But the best part is that now, 2 times a day I get this great tasting pink stuff. Sure, I pretend not to like it. I mean, who likes having stuff squirted into their mouth? And I don't want the brunette to think that I forgive her. But, man this stuff is great! Can't wait to get some more tonight. Right now, I think I'll take a nap and watch the glittery lights of the ceiling fan. WHEEEE!!!!

They thought this was hilarious- what do they know? We are NOT amused.

I thought for sure that I would be rid of both humans for at least 5 days out of every week. Lately, the fire-haired one is home. All the time. Invading my space. I don't know where the humans usually go during the day, but she just stopped going. She seems happier, too, which makes me grumpy. I wish she would go away and let me sleep in peace again. *grumble*

The humans give me small freedoms that I cherish only to inflict more torture in the end. This morning, the fire-haired one let me outside so I could spend some time in nature. Unfortunately, the yard is fully enclosed and I cannot escape. The birds taunt me, but I find solace in knowing that I could easily and swiftly dispose of them if they were ever to come within my deadly reach. After some time outside, the dirt-haired one opened the door only to grab me and flip me over in her arms. Then the fire-haired one attacked my feet with a wet cloth while I struggled to no avail. THEN, the dirt-haired one held my paws under the running water for several minutes. I have learned that it is useless to struggle in situations like this and instead, display my feline strength in submitting to this petty torture.

( Follow this cut for evidence. )

oh boy did i get them good last night! while they were downstairs watching the talking light box i crept into the bedroom and up onto the soft velvet draped bed. i curled up right below the pillow on the evil redhead's side and took a wee nap.  oh the shedding, it was glorious.  she was so mad when she came upstairs. screamed at me and chased me back into the office.  gleefully, i watched her fume from my hiding place beneth the futon.  she made the evil brunette de furrify everything meticulously.  i hope she sneezes all night with her face right next to where i lay. i'm so happy i think i might leave a little present for the mongrel later. she'll eat anything.

this weekend new levels of torture were achieved. before sunrise the nice one petted me turned on the tub water for me and gave me much love. then before I could return to my cuddly bed she grabbed me and forced into the horrid carrier bag!  how could she have tricked me so?  i shall never trust her again.  she lugged me away into the big 4 wheeled moving thing and i loudly protested, thinking perhaps we were off to the VET.  but no. it was worse.  she handed my carrier over to a horrid woman with rings through her face and then departed.  the next few hours are a blur of excruciating torture.  first they cut my nails and poked into my ears. then a bath. then a horrible loud blowing thing.  but the worst of it was all the dogs.  dogs everywhere going thru the same torture as i, only some of them got shaved too.  there was dog fur flying everywhere.  my greatest relief came when i realized that i was to be spared this indignity.  i mean, who can love a shaved pussy? 

when the nice evil one came back she cooed over me and took me home for snuggling.  but i see thru her. she is evil and out to get me.  she will die tonight.

Documented torture day 2,544



They think this is funny. I do not share their opinion.